A Story Where Every Word Begins With ‘W’
7 Apr
The following story, entitled Walter and Winnie, was published sometime in the 19th century by an unknown author. It’s roughly 450 words long, and after you read it once, try reading it again three times fast.
Winnie and Walter
“Warm weather, Walter! Welcome warm weather! We were wishing winter would wane, weren’t we?” “We were well wearied with waiting,” whispered Waiter wearily. Wan, white, woe-begone was Walter; wayward, wilful, worn with weakness, wasted, waxing weaker whenever winter’s wild, withering winds were wailing. Wholly without waywardness was Winifred, Walter’s wise, womanly watcher, who, with winsome, wooing way, was well-beloved.
“We won’t wait, Walter; while weather’s warm we’ll wander where woodlands wave, won’t we?”
Walter’s wanton wretchedness wholly waned. “Why, Winnie, we’ll walk where we went when we were with Willie; we’ll weave wildflower wreaths, watch woodmen working; woodlice, worms wriggling; windmills whirling; watermills wheeling; we will win wild whortleberries, witness wheat winnowed.”
Wisbeach woods were wild with wildflowers; warm, westerly winds whispered where willows were waving; wood-pigeons, wrens, woodpeckers were warbling wild woodnotes. Where Wisbeach water-mill’s waters, which were wholly waveless, widened, were waterlilies, waxen white. Winifred wove wreaths with woodbine, whitehorn, wallflowers; whilst Walter whittled wooden wedges with willow wands.
Wholly without warning, wild wet winds woke within Wisbeach woods, whistling where Winifred wandered with Walter; weeping willows were wailing weirdly; waging war with wind-tossed waters. Winifred’s wary watchfulness waked.
“Walter, we won’t wait.”
“Which way, Winnie?”
Winifred wavered. “Why, where were we wandering? Wisbeach woods widen whichever way we walk. Where’s Wisbeach white wicket, where’s Winston’s water-mill?”
WistfuIly, Walter witnessed Winifred’s wonder. “Winnie, Winnie, we were wrong, wholly wrong; wandering within wild ways. Wayfaring weather-beaten waifs, well-nigh worn-out.”
Winifred waited where, within wattled woodwork walls, waggons, wheelbarrows, wains were waiting, weighty with withered wood. Walter, warmly wrapped with Winifred’s well-worn wadded waterproof, was wailing woefully, wholly wearied. Winnie, who, worn with watching, well-nigh weeping, was wistfully, wakefully waiting Willie’s well-known whistle, wholly wished Walter’s well-being warranted.
With well-timed wisdom, Walter was wound with wide, worsted wrappers, which wonderfully well withstood winter’s withering, whistling winds. Wholly without warm wrappers was Winifred, who, with womanly wisdom, was watching Walter’s welfare, warding Walter’s weakness.
“When will Willie wend where we wait?” wearily wondered Walter.
“Whist, Walter,” whispered Winnie, “who was whooping?”
“Whereabouts?”
Welcome whistling was waking Wisbeach woods when winter’s windy warfare waxed weaker.
“Winnie! Walter!”
Winifred’s wakefulness was well-grounded. “We’re well, Willie; we’re where Winston’s waggons wait.”
Without waiting, Willie was within Winston’s woodwork walls.
“Welcome, welcome, Willie.” Winnie was weeping with weariness with watching Walter, weak with wayfaring.
“Why Winnie! Wise, watchful, warm-hearted Winnie,” Willie whispered wheedlingly. “We won’t weep; Walter’s well. What were Walter without Winnie?”
Wholly wonderful was Winifred’s well-timed womanly wisdom, which well warranted weakly Walter’s welfare. Whenever wandering within Wisbeach woods with Winnie, Walter would whisper, “What were Walter without Winnie? Wise, watchful, warm-hearted Winnie!”
Everything went blurry and then my eyes rolled into the back of my head to protect them self. I like it but were I to read any more I think I would start crying blood.
WoW
Way to many W’s
Did anyone understand the actual story?
I doubt this is him, but this reeks of Georges Perec! (that being the author mik mentioned above, who wrote La Disparition (or A Void), a novel written without ever once using the letter “e.” Gadsby’s like that too.
Anyway yes, this is hard to get through! But might skills.
Why won’t we watch what we write? Whoever won’t write with “W” won’t win whilst we who write with “W” watch what we write, whether with/without women/whatever.
What a brilliant idea! I teach EFL (English as a Foreign Language) and that would make a wonderful writing exercise.
wow. i barely even got what it was saying. too many W’s…..not even funny
>.<
Timothy tells tall tells, tho these things tend to thrive through tough thinking, talent. Times ticking Timmy. Take time to track tantalizing treasures.
THINK!
wow that was easier than i though. wont be doing again anytime soon.
Actually… I’m impressed! Yes, it hurts your eyes after a while, but telling a story this way is a feat.
Imagine this being done in front of a live audience, by memory.
My head esplodeth.
*dies*
Wow, what wacky words.
Wow, that was really interesting. The actual story was quite hard to understand. I didn’t find myself getting dizzy, and my eyes didn’t hurt, though. Great job though!
Excellent use of a thesaurus tool. Clever.
imagine if the author’s “W” key was broken lol
I like it!
Ah, it sucks and makes no sense.
hahaha I ‘m still laughing at the one that said his friend speaks all in “f”s . hehe Was I the only one that got that? I teach ESL also and have done little experiments as such. You’d be amazed the things people come up with ( even without drugs or drinks)
Well-night was a cheat I feel
hahahahahaha!
Try saying the whole story with the emphasis shown on Family Guy or from Hot Rod.
Whiskey
Scary stuff. I could not get past the first paragraph.
what whe wuck
well well, wee was written wholly
I read only the first two lines, then went back and began from the beginning, reading quite aloud. Small children playing outside became frightened, yet I persisted. The story is a delight, the reading is pure joy and I only wish that I had someone to share it with. Small children tend to run away, and the grown-ups don’t seem to have a clue what reading aloud is all about. Loved this post, thanx!
oh… the mind fuck…
what wa well wats wukin wantaztic
I really yearn not to use anything involving a “w” to react to this, but wow.
The person who wrote the story in “T’s” and said it was easy, I’d like you to write a 450 word story in “G’s” that makes sense.
Then we’ll see how easy you think it is.
(FYI- G’s are equally common as W’s. Not sure about first letters, though.)
Wow, what we write was wowly!!!!
I hope the guy who wrote it was very pleased with himself…for causing the spontaneous combustions of 90% of the people who read it.
IT IS AS GOOD AS A TONGUR TWISTER
do that many W’s even exist?
I actually read this out loud. MY toungue hurst. Try it. At least the next 300 words you say will start with W I promise it.
I’m still in pain T.T
whoever wrote Winnie and Walter is a wanker.
altogether admirable and an awesome addition; amazing, astonishing, A+ !!!
whatever! when will we witness winsome-endings? will walter with winnie wind wondering with winter winds wailing?? WHEN?? Wednesday?
The title is faulty, it contains “and”! It should be Walter with Winnie. Or Walter’s Wanderings with Winnie.
A reply to mik #39,
“years ago a similar story was published – except it was an entire novel, and it didn’t use the letter ‘e’ once. Apart from the author’s name, which had 3 ‘e’s in it. Cant remember the name though.”
The name of the book was Gadsby and it was by Ernest Vincent Wright, and there wasn’t a single ‘e’ in the entire book!
0_0 wow,what wierdness was written… T-T I CANT TAKE THIS MANY W’S IN A DAY!!!
*runs away crying*
Great… Now that I have read that I talk like Elmer Fud. Waskily Wabbit
hehe my name is funny.
I really hated it. I’m sure it took some effort and that is commendable, but oh my goodness it was so annoying!
whew! i was only up to the third paragraph! will do another round. who would wow??
)
i’m cross-eyed and having a headache!
but it’s really very creative.
you can call me v
this is a very interesting way of righting.
i would have never had the patience to do that,
good job
stupid. it won.
Wow. Wondrous writing… I can’t do it!
No more W’s please!
‘and’, ‘pigeon’, ‘beloved’ don’t begin with ‘W’ !! numb fuck….. Trying too hard to be clever ain’t clever or amusing.
Would be better if all of it made sense. Some of the adjectives are totally inappropriate.